Sugar. I am completely addicted. I never thought that it was actually a problem, I just really liked sweets. Who would think that it is a problem, no matter where you go- everyone is doing it. But it wasn't until now, that I realized that they weren't doing it like me. I actually don't think I was 'doing it like me' until just recently when I needed to control everything else in my life. Yes, I said control...it isn't a lack of control in my life that led me to this point, it is too much control that needed an escape route. That route was any sugary substance I could get my hands on.
Where did this need for control come from? In the past year, there have been a lot of changes in my life, great changes. A new baby, a new home and a new job. They say these are some of the most stressful things you will ever do in your life, so I decided to bang them all out in one big tsunami. Although these changes were positive ones, with them brought a whole new load of responsibilities and a need for some serious control. The baby was on the move- control the environment. The mortgage needed to get paid- control the finances. The job is on a trial basis- control every move you make all day! I was trapped in a balloon of control and just wanted someone to open the knot. That knot was opened and in came the sugar. It was the one thing that I was allowing myself, subconsciously, to not have to control.
It started off just fine...you know one a day, just when I drink, just when I am out with friends. but before I knew it...there is that damn camera guy in the passenger seat as I do a line of peeps.